two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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