real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
