I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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