We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
