Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
