Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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