i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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