I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
