if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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