Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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