yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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