I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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