I cannot find my penis.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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