How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
