I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
