so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
