i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize