Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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