she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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