Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
