In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
