and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
