Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
