he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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