For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
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you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
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