I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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