It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
