Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
