your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Drake has all the answers
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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