yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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