He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
