Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
