Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
