She announced her abortion via fbk
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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