I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
