Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
