Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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