I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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