Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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