Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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