I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
