we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize