so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i dont even know how to be here
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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