Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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