No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
