dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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