these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
