Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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