So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Dick very happy bro
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
