Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize