i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You peed on a flamingo?!?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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