I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So much Jack, so little girl.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
