i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Say something about gay babies.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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