"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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