She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
