I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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