evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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