I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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