so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
