Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Text me some of your sweat
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
