12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
