I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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