i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
