I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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