He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
cat food counts as protein by the way
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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