Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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